Saturday, October 4, 2008
okay okay. i know i haven't been updating for a really really really long time but it's because i have been busy. EOYs have started and i haven't really had much thought on wanting to pass. i don't mean i want to fail. it's just that i have been having so much things on my mind lately that it's not making move on.
#1: i had a super huge misunderstanding with my best friend ever. i mean, so what if i have been liking you for 4 yrs running. does that give you the right to push me away and treat me like i'm invisible now?---- i thought through it and i feel like ending it but it really pains me alot to do so. i know i'm the advisor with all my friends but i just can't seem to follow my own advice. it's too difficult for me because i'm usually different than alot of others#2: my godbro is well sick. i want him to be better, much better but i guess that would take a miracle. i have been praying alot for him and i really want him to be better. he needs to because there is alot he hasn't seen around the world.---- i really can't believe this is happening. i mean, my whole life is really crumbling infront of me. i losing people i love alot. i hate it
i'm having constant arguments with people at home; i'm quarrelling with my best friend whom i have been loving for 4 yrs running and he can't seem to understand it; i'm losing alot of people i love and it is killing me and affecting me real badly-not in studies but emotionally and sometimes spiritually. i do not know my place in this world anymore. sometimes i think my world has just blacked-out or has gone into oblivion. i have disappeared in many people's lives because they think they have found someone better to replace me. i hate it, i hate it and i really really hate it. i do not see a point in continuing living life so joyously and happily- its just makes me feel even more worse inside. i'm counting the days till i can actually break free from all this craziness and live life by my rules. i'll be waiting for that day to come.
well , i have to end here for now but keep reading to find out more about my troubles or my joys. loving always:)
